The reality of today

It may take a long time to process and to reach the point of awakening. Then we discover what is important in life — the value of creating, giving, and contributing. Happiness and abundance come from sharing.

It is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change. Happiness, safety and security do not come galloping over the next horizon. There are no fairytale endings (nor beginnings). There is no guarantee of “happily ever after.” It must begin with oneself.

We begin making “our way through the reality of today rather than holding out for the promise of tomorrow.”

We all have been subjected to a lifetime of social conditioning on appearances and behavior.

We mistakenly believe that we must live up to a certain standard to be acceptable. The social pressure is there — the look, style, fashion, weight, job, car, home, partner, children.

It is reinforced by traditional and social media.

Consumerism is all about accumulating and obtaining. And having the new, the best, the “in” thing. The consumer fix from buying the latest gadget and status symbol is just a passing “high.” The novelty eventually wears off.

It takes maturity to realize that one is not perfect and cannot have everything. People will not always love, appreciate, or approve of whatever we do. One must take a long look in the mirror.

When one learns to accept certain things, it is possible to achieve a sense of serenity.

It is necessary to reassess and redefine the self and what one believes in. We should not be influenced by what others say we should believe in. They are entitled to their own opinion.

A sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

A process of sifting through the “doctrines” is necessary. These are the old habits, notions, ways of thinking and doing that we have to unlearn. We must learn to discard those that are no longer relevant. Only the essential values should be kept.

There is joy in giving rather than accumulating. Contentment comes from creating, producing, and contributing.

The lesson here is gratitude for all the blessings, big and small, that millions on earth do not have but wish they could have. Among them — a home, food, clean running water. Above all, peace, freedom of choice, and the opportunity to pursue our dreams.

A balanced lifestyle and diet with plenty of water and regular exercise. It has been said that fatigue drains the spirit. The body needs rest. Laughter is very good for the body and the spirit. One needs time to play and relax.

We learn, over the years, about love and relationships.

How to love and how much to give. When to stop giving and when to walk away.

We get hurt by insincere “friends” who are not reliable. Toxic people and situations should be avoided.

Then we should control the Ego — to acknowledge and diffuse destructive emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, and resentment.

Humility is a quality we should cultivate. We should be able to say, “I was wrong.” In the same manner, we must forgive people, build bridges, and remove walls. Communication is an important tool for enhancing relationships.

We must distinguish between guilt and responsibility. We set boundaries and know when to say “NO.”

We should try to see people as they are and not project qualities that are not there. They grow and change. Real love is one given freely without conditions or limitations.

One should stop looking for guarantees. Change happens both slowly and suddenly. One must conquer fear and deal with the unexpected.

Solitude does not mean being lonely. It is a joyful discovery — to spend time with oneself. It leads to a deepening spirituality, healing, and growth.

Maria Victoria Rufino is an artist, writer and businesswoman. She is president and executive producer of Maverick Productions.

mavrufino@gmail.com